It's been ten weeks and six days since my son has seen anyone on his dad's side of the family. His paternal grandfather drives by my house twice a day, every day, once on his way to work, and once on his way home. Despite my invitation to feel welcome to call, come by, or what have you, he still has not, does not.
My son's father moved back into town a month ago after living out of state for 2 years. Has he taken the time to see his child? Nope.
I feel sad for my son that his father doesn't get it.
I used to feel anger toward his family for barging into his life 3 years ago unannounced, uninvited, and just barely welcome. Then I loved his family because they endeared themselves to me and cared for my son and now I feel rejected by his family for being so passive about their involvement with my son.
Since his dad came back into his life 2 years ago they have retreated little by little. Back into oblivion. He might see them on holiday's - maybe. I think my son has seen them twice this year. Three times at most. They live 20 minutes away.
One part of me thinks - fuck them, their loss, they ignored that child for 9 years, shouldn't have expected it to last long. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
One part of me thinks - How dare they come into his life, then walk away.
One part of me thinks - Have I done something wrong? Did I offend them away?
One part of me thinks - I should call them, have a grown up conversation, clear the air. Maybe they don't see.
What does it take to get your family to see that you need them? How does a 12 year old little boy tell his dad, I need you? He doesn't. He gets angry, he gets pissed, he shuts down. He says "I don't care" when I know he does.
My son used to ask me for a new daddy. "Momma, can you get married so I can have a new daddy, mine isn't very good." He stopped asking a few years ago, adolecence and detachment set in.
7 years ago
