So I was reading blogs late last night and I had a dream about one of the authors. I woke up this morning thinking damn! I'm dreaming about a guy I have never met and never talked to. We were on a boat, on vacation - together. He was disappointed in me because I didn't meet his expectations. So I left. And woke up confused and pissed! I still have love for him though!
My dating life is nonexistant. I haven't seen or talked to the one I love. My son's father is still trying to get in my pants. I don't know if I finally grew up or just finally got over him, but he no longer turns me on. He tries and tries and tries and I'm just not interested. Yay for me, too bad for him.
Math is keeping me busy. I have been going to the tutor twice a week, doing all of my homework plus some extra, going to class, meeting with my study partner. A few of the sections I actually ENJOYED! Testing remains a problem for me... first test D-, second and third tests, C- on both. I guess I should feel good to some degree, most of my classmates failed the last test. I just have a few weeks left.. overall I have a 78% which is not acceptable to me, but I'm giving myself a "pass" on this one. I'm giving it my best, a 78% might be all I can do in 12 weeks.
Along with math I added another online class. Homework every day... arggh I can't wait to be done with school so I can have my life back. I decided to go full time for my last 12 classes. I want to be done by the end of this year. Working FT, going to school FT plus running a household and raising a teenage son by myself is a little hectic. Some days I feel like I have Altzheimers.
I was trying to remember the last name of my college boyfriend. I can't. I can remember his best friends last name... but not his.
Has anyone noticed that our youth have decided that nothing is plural or possessive anymore? "Are you at your grandma house?"... "He on my football team"..."We going to play basketball at Joe house"... That gets on my nerves! At what point did this start happening? What happened to all the "S's?" Everytime I hear a child in my presence do this I start complaining. Too bad many parents have also fallen into the habit...
My son is going on a trip at the end of the month. I will have from Sunday evening until Friday afternoon to myself. No practices, no games, no picking up or dropping off from school. No helping with homework, no extra laundry, no extra mess. If I had a man, I would be free to have him stay over! I plan to use my time wisely.. I will go to yoga and relax, get into the gym and sweat and attempt to go running and challenge myself. I will clean the closets and donate to charity or friends all of the clothes, jackets and shoes that no longer fit my ever growing son. And I will try to meet friends for dinner at least one of the 5 evenings I will have alone. At least... that's the plan now.....
Love you all.. hope you're well!
RM.
5 years ago
11 comments:
get it freedom! fab! the lack of plural & possessive is not new. a little hectic?? i go to school FT and work PT, don't have a kid and STILL feel like my head will explode so YOU are AMAZING to me!! wow!!
You're a trooper. I work full time and take care of a toddler, but I don't go to school and I think my life is hectic. You're Wonder Woman.
Enjoy the freedom while it lasts.
Don't beat yourself up too much about the tests, at least your grades improved.
Can I say that if you are getting C's in algebra, then you are obviously capable in the subject and not the same person who was in fear earlier in the year over it. Good job.
As for all the other stuff, I wonder if you are dreaming about being inadequate because in real life you are doing so much to prove that isn't true? Just figured I'd throw in a little Psych 101 there for you.
Oh and as for the kid's speak thing, it makes me cringe at times but people probably said the same thing 30 years ago and 100 years before that. Language is always changing, that's what makes it so dynamic and alive. At times it can be more of an art than a science and what better artists could you find than our youth who practice it.
Jameil: Thanks lady.. perhaps if you knew the dishes have been rinsed and in the sink for 4 days because I either haven't had time or keep forgetting to get dish detergent you might not think I'm quite so amazing, lol. Maybe I need some Ginko Biloba.
BnT: Taking care of a toddler is a ton of work! I remember those days. Cherish them, they don't last nearly long enough.
Curious: Thanks love. I really don't like C's, when I do something I want to do it well.
As for feeling inadequate..seriously - it's so true in so many ways. Where does that come from? Never feeling good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or the right height, or the right size. Sometimes I feel like everything is as it should be. Other times, I feel like it will never be the way I want it.
Really? A web crush?
I wonder sometimes, but never develop a crush.
Things have fallen into place in my life so that I'm usually overbooked. But most of the women I meet are umm... dumb.
Well, that might be a bit harsh.
How about... unintersting.
Yeah... I get bored easily, when someone is one dimentional, I get bored.
I'm also bored with women who rely on their looks.
When I go home to Cali. - there is too much to choose from.
Here in Texas, not enough.
Sometimes relationships suck.
UBJ: Not a web crush, lol. It wasn't a romantic dream. I meant that I have love for his writing and personality. This particular blogger shares pics so I know what he looks like. Guess that makes it easier to put his face in my dream.
You are so smart that you probably need an above-average intellegence woman to get your attention.
I sucked something horrible at math in college, I'd be happy with the C. I always looked at it like your there for the credits not the grades.
I think all of us go through moments of feeling the way you do. Hang in there as you continue to do your thing. I work and school fulltime as well so you're not alone there Ms.RM in fact ^5 to Jamiel's comment too.
:)
you are a masterpiece in progress my dear.
never think otherwise.
iono what to do with myself when my kids are away, and I am not ashamed to admit it.
school is going well for me, I always hated math, so I am proud of you for getting a C for fully COMPETENT.
masterpiece in progress. never think of yourself as anything less. and you can dream of anyone you like. As the year 2012 approaches, the more enlightened will see more and more that we are ALL connected...you are already there, spiritually and mentally...
Love,
Cas (female)
Uuuum I know i'm late here but you need to find your self a PLAY DATE...lol...
SuperDave: I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to my grades. I was a really poor student in high school so I feel like this is redemption time. So for this ONE class only, it's not about the grade, so long as I pass. But I really would like at least a 'B'..
Miss M: ::Hugs:: thanks lady ;)
GirlCas: I'm SO READY for 2012. I'm open, listening and ready for as many enlightening changes that come my way. Hugs!
Slishy: Better late than never ;) I'm working on the play date.... but in case that doesn't work out.. see the next post! lol
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