What is gender?

So I'm sitting here watching Dr. Phil and today they have on parents of kids (little kids) who feel they are the wrong gender. In two of the cases the boys felt like they were girls. They wanted to dress in girl clothing, wear barrettes, play with dolls and do "girl" things. In both of these cases, after the parents struggled with it for a while, they allowed their sons to dress like girls and essentially change their outward appearance to female.

When my son was little, he used to want me to paint his fingernails and toenails and he also liked to wear a tutu (like for ballet), lol. In addition, he was facinated with trucks, trains and sports. He no longer wants me to paint his fingernails or dress in girls clothing, but what if he did?

I have an Aunt who always acted like a boy - always. She looked like a boy (strong jaw, narrow build, no hips, etc.) she acted like a boy, she sounded like a boy when she talked, she played sports and overall acted like a boy. No one was really surprised when she "came out of the closet" and announced that she was gay. But is she? If a child is born with male genitalia but feels like a girl, acts like a girl, wants to be a girl and likes boys - Is he homosexual... or a straight girl born with the wrong genetalia? If a child is born with female genitalia but feel like a boy, acts like a boy, wants to be a boy and likes girls - Is she homosexual...or a straight boy born with the wrong genetalia?

When I think about what makes me a woman it isn't because I have hips, breasts and a vagina. I like my body to be feminine, I like to be pampered, I like to have my hair done, I loved the feeling of feeding an infant from my body, I like feeling pretty and sexy and well...womanly. I want a daughter because I want to dress her in pink, do her hair in barrettes and headbands and paint her fingernails. I want to be there when she gets her first bra and have tea parties with her. It doesn't mean that she couldn't love sports, but she can do that and be a girl at the same time. I do!

So anyway - on this show they had some other opinions of folks not in this situation who thought that there was no way that a boy could be born in the wrong body because "God doesn't make mistakes." For parents to allow their kids to express that they feel like another gender is just bad parenting... Are they kidding me? What sane parent would choose to have their child change genders? What sane child would choose to be made fun of at school, looked at funny, ridiculed for being different, etc. They wouldn't.

So blogger fam.. what say you? What makes you male? What makes you female? What attracts you to the opposite sex or the same sex or both? What would you do if your son or daughter came to you and said they wanted to change genders? Do you think that we're born to be the gender that the anatomy between our legs suggests us to be, or do you think that gender is formed in the mind?