Say What You Need To Say

Take all of your wasted honor. Every little past frustration. Take all of your so called problems, Better put 'em in quotations. Say what you need to say.

Walkin' like a one man army, Fightin' with the shadows in your head. Livin' up the same old moment Knowin' you'd be better off instead If you could only...Say what you need to say.

Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know that in the end It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking, And your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to, Say what you need to... Say what you need to say. - John Mayer from The Bucket List soundtrack

I have someone that I love. He doesn't know. We're friends, we're lovers, we're parents to different children with different lives and different homes. I loved him so much I walked away in January. He brought me back to him in June. I feel loved, honored, respected, challenged, engaged, admired.

He hasn't said the words. And neither have I.

"Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say." Every time I hear this song I want to call him and tell him. "I love you." Even if you don't love me back, even though I think you do. I love you. I love your fingers when they grab my hair in a passionate kiss. I love your attention to the little changes in my appearance. I love the father that you are to your children, the son that you are to your parents and the brother that you are to your sister. I love you for making tough decisions and taking risks. I love you because you are supportive, honest, caring and intellegent.

I love you because when we didn't speak for a while I missed you every day, and I am so glad to have you back in my life.

"Even if your hands are shaking, And your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say."

If I knew today was the last day, I would tell him. If I knew this was my last minute, I would tell him. The next second isn't promised to me and yet I wait. And I love him. And I show him, not in the words that I say, but in the actions of my being. I hope he knows.